Home Parenting 10 Tips on How to Treat With the Adolescent Lie

10 Tips on How to Treat With the Adolescent Lie

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Teenage girl talking to friend

Even if it costs us, we have to recognize that our teenage children are no longer “so children.” They are being born again, waking up to their independence, gradually. Sometimes they don’t lie, but they don’t tell us the whole truth. For example, we learned through teachers, not children, who did something at school. 

They consider that some things do not need to be counted, such as minor errors and transgressions. Nor can we interpret the prosecutor: children hide these kinds of things so as not to be ashamed. But we don’t need to dramatize those feats; They are just mistakes. If they had told us before, they would undoubtedly feel better and, above all, they would have reinforced the much needed mutual trust in the family between parents and children.

Consequences of lying in Teenagers

Often, the truth puts us in trouble, while a significant lie takes them with extreme ease. This is what happens when a teenager tells his father that he/she will spend the night in the house of a friend whom his parents trust, when in fact he goes to sleep at the home of another friend, which is not to the liking of His parents.

The only way we can quantify the seriousness of a lie is the consequences it causes. Something common to all lies is that they seek their benefit, except for those “pious” lies that we use to supposedly avoid harm to others, such as when we do not tell the whole truth to a sick person.

Lying is used to evade responsibilities or to avoid punishment, but teenagers often use it to use their freedom in the way they want and not in the way parents define it.

The lie has a special appeal due to its ability to change reality. To catch their son and make him tell the truth, the parents of the digital age are taking help from the monitoring application for teenagers, such as Teen Safe. With the use of the application, parents should consider following the suggestions to treat the lies of teenagers.

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1. If your child plans something that seems too bold for his age, reflect with him on why he thinks this is not convenient. Let him know what your fears and reservations are. Don’t just say “no.”

2. Take care of the example you convey. If you tell your daughter, “Don’t tell dad,” wanting her to hide something from her husband, she will do it in a lie.

3. Work on self-esteem. The more they don’t feel safe with themselves, the more easily they will lay hold of the lies.

4. Emphasize the attractive value of truthfulness. Always telling the truth, having the floor, makes us reliable people.

5. Teach him that friendship is incompatible with lies.

mom with teen boy

6. Never label him or call him a liar. Show confidence and make sure that this is not your true way of being, but a passing incident.

7. Do not maximize your mistake. Consider each lie as a blunder and invite it to rectify. When he acknowledges that he has lied, he appreciates the fact that he has acknowledged.

8. Give him confidence. Let him realize that he gains more freedom since he can trust him.

9. Watch television with him to teach him to detect lies. The scripts of many series are constructed from a misunderstanding or a lack of truth that becomes more and more entangled until there is no other choice but, to tell the truth.

10. Punish him when he discovers a lie? If we punish him, his fear feeds. One has to talk about why he lied, what his fear is. Discovering a lie is an excellent time to start a dialogue. Don’t appeal to the drama, with phrases like “you failed me” or “I trusted you.” Let him see what would have happened if he had told the truth. 

Make him see that finding the lie was a good thing because it is an occasion to renew confidence.


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